HI guyz... I have made a jokes <http://www.jokesarcade.com/> website
and wanna shore some joke with you... IF u like ma site please visit it
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AN EGG
<http://www.jokesarcade.com/good-jokes/an-egg-joke.html> Posted IN Good
jokes <http://www.jokesarcade.com/jokes/good-jokes>


Once a hen belonging to Pakistani living on border laid an egg in Indian
region.

The Indian quickly came and took it up. Pakistani came and claimed it.
Indian said it was in his region so it belonged to him.

Then Pakistani said to him "See, instead of fighting we will do one
thing. We will kick in each other`s stomach one by one. One who
doesn`t yell in pain at all will get the egg".

Indian agreed. Pakistani took first turn and ran from distance and
kicked very hardly in Indian`s stomach.

"Ummmmm" Indian controlled his yell and said "Ok now
it`s my turn…"

Pakistani said "Forget man, Why to fight for a simple egg. You take
it as a gift from me!"

A MAN BUYS 2 FISH
<http://www.jokesarcade.com/clean-jokes/a-man-buys-2-fish-joke.html>
Posted In Clean JOkes <http://www.jokesarcade.com/jokes/clean-jokes>

A Man Goes Into A Pet Store and Buys 2 Fish, He Names Them 1 And 2, His
Friend asks Him " Why did U Call Them 1 And 2?"

He Says, "Well if 1 Dies I've still Got 2 Left."



Excuses For Missing Work
<http://www.jokesarcade.com/office-jokes/excuses-for-missing-work-joke.h\
tml>
Posted In Office JOkes <http://www.jokesarcade.com/jokes/office-jokes>


* My stigmata's acting up.

* I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my
previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

* I have a rare case of 48-hour wrist leprosy, but I know we have that
deadline to meet…

* I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

* I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I
shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain
false information.

* The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

* I prefer to remain an enigma….it's Monday.

* My stepmother has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her
to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal
peace.

* I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

* I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

* I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist
on paying my fair share.

* I was up on a ladder decorating the Christmas tree when my mother
called me and told me I was Jewish.

* I've used up all my sick days…so I'm calling in dead!


Job Interview
<http://www.jokesarcade.com/computer-and-it-jokes/job-interview-joke.htm\
l>
Posted In Computer and IT jokes
<http://www.jokesarcade.com/jokes/computer-and-it-jokes>

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a
young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you
looking for?"
The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year,
depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week
vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching
your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased
every two years, say, a red Corvette?"
The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you
kidding?"
The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Answering Service At The Mental Institute
<http://www.jokesarcade.com/funny-jokes/answering-service-at-the-mental-\
institute-joke.html>
Posted In Funny jokes <http://www.jokesarcade.com/jokes/funny-jokes>

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the
mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until
someone comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press
000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or
before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If
you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too
busy to talk to you."


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